Name: Natália Persin
Number of kids: 1
1. Did you always imagine yourself as a mom?
I always wanted to be a mom and since young I liked to take care of other kids, as for example my cousins. I never imagined my life without a child.
2. Was your child planned or surprise?
I didn’t plan André, my son. I found out about him when I was 8 weeks pregnant and accepted I was going to have a child and it would be amazing, regardless of my situation. André’s father and I got married as an attempt to give him a ‘traditional family’ condition which didn’t work for us. We got divorced but kept a good relationship. As we are, today, I feel my child has so much love not only from me but from his dad and step mom, who’s also great with him.
3. Did you say you wouldn’t do something as mom, before having kids, and you ended up doing it?
Honestly, I don’t remember as everything happen all of a sudden, but I guess I imagined nutrition and education would be something different than they actually are. A while ago, I read in a text something like this: my kids don’t allow me to be the mom I always dream I would be” and this couldn’t be truer. You imagine you will be able to feed and educate them in some way, that they will behave as you want but you don’t consider all that it takes to have things in a certain way. Money, time and resilience I would say are the key-factors among many others and it’s simply not possible to have it all, sometimes. Also, we often forget that our children have their own personality and individuality that are very likely different than ours, moms.
4. Your favourite thing about motherhood?
I guess my favourite thing about motherhood is not about my child and I, but the person I became as a mom, much more compassionate, always attentive for the ones in need. I stopped judging the others and developed empathy not only for other parents but humans and their limitations in general.
5. Any regret so far?
There’s no manual about motherhood, which can be extremely lonely and filled with judgements. Everybody gives an opinion but nobody makes it for you. So I believe every mom has a different motherhood experience and everything I tried so far, successfully or not, was the best I could do for the person I love the most. I would say I would like to change somethings when it comes to our relationship, but I understand this is a work in progress.
6. What was the biggest change in your life after kids?
Being a solo mom in a cosmopolitan city has a direct impact in my life, both socially and professionally. Every step I make I need to consider not only myself but André’s, as if there’s no more “me” only “we” and it goes from very simple decisions such as tonight’s dinner or meeting a friend to life changing ones, as a change in our routine, a trip or a relationship. Every single thing I do has a direct impact in my son’s life.
7. A message for women that are expecting a baby:
Don’t be to hard with yourself, don’t care too much for what others think and be patient, with you, with your family and with strangers. Romanticized motherhood doesn’t exist and it is just not easy, no matter who you are. But one things is sure, we miss things afterwards.
8. A wish for your kids:
I wish him to be kind, fair and honest.
9. if you could tell the world something about motherhood:
Moms are individuals, professionals, wives, extraordinary beings who deserve respect, support and care.
Judging is not respect, opinion (when not requested) is not support and giving a like on social media is not care.
10. If you could do one thing right now it would be:
Kiss those smooth cheeks he has (and watch him cleaning them right away).