Family trip to the Swiss mountains

So here we are, 2018! And up in the Swiss mountains already. Family vacation same story as pretty much every year.

My husbands family has the tradition of staying on beautiful Bettmeralp for almost 30 years. It’s a place beyond all imagination. Absolutely car free & you can only reach it by air transportation.

It snowed before, during and probably after our trip. So we got to enjoy the most dreamy scenery and we have surely not seen that much snow in a long time!

Simplifying life was my mantra for the week. Which already started with packing. 
Next year I will bring even less. I was surprised how little I actually used from the packed things, even with a baby.. it’s possible to travel light. A thing I should have packed was cough syrup for little Lee. He did catch a cold right on the second day 😦

Our snack pack for the three hour train ride (Zurich-Bettmeralp)
– Self made trail mix (stored in our Klean Kanteen container from purple & green)
– Squeeze for little Lee
– Magazine (Wohnrevue)
– Apples, since you know, those guys are tough
– Dried tomatoes

Here’s what skiing taught me this year: I was suddenly confronted with fear. I was afraid of falling and getting injured. BUT WHY? Frankly: I was never afraid of giving birth to my son, never. not a second. I can I not have been afraid of certain pain, but afraid of skiing?

My husband, my supporter was a big help conquering my fear. Aswell as my nine year old nephew, who confidently drove down the hill 😉 I remember not being afraid two years ago. And I know becoming a mom brought a lot of fears into my life, mostly it’s the fear of loss. I’m afraid of loosing beloved ones, I guess.. And skiing was just some kind of trigger.

It’s my mothers heart which changed so many things and perspectives in my life. I’m responsible, not only for my life, but for someone else life now. For a teeny tiny little baby boy, who’s just about to discover this huge world. And there are some days when I can hardly grasp it. Days filled with sorrow, disbelief and doubts. Anyone feeling me out there??

Here’s one thing I want to work on in 2018: 
overcoming fears & celebrating tiny victories afterwards!!

My mothers heart got so much more sensitive.
I think gentle and sensitive is fine & needed, but fear is something different & not necessarily needed. In contradiction, it hinders us. It hinders us to grow & experience many beautiful things and make unforgettable moments.

And, I want to cherish all the facets of being a mom. Today I cleaned the floor like four times (every time my son ate at the table, I whipped the floor afterwards), some days I can handle it with ease and a smile on my face. And yes, some days I could cry and would want a nanny to get it done. But heck no, I love being a full time mom. And I would actually not want that some one else would do it for me. So yes, I want to start (again) being more thankful for the privilege of being a stay at home mom!

Michelle Kernen
Pictures: private collection

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